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Insommmmmmmmniaaaaaaaaaa. Oh how I hate you. My sleep time has been getting later and later in recent weeks. Last night I didn’t sleep at all. Was wide awake for 24 hours. That wasn’t great. I ended up getting up at 3:30am and just working because I was bored. Tonight I thought I’d try to head it off; turned off my phone, did some yoga, did some breathing exercises, rubbed some lavender oil into my skin, even tried having my audiobook on to help me drift off…but no. Still wide awake. Well at least it’s only 11pm and not 2am. There’s still hope yet.

Why can’t I sleep? Too much going round in my head! Plans, ideas, dreams…every time I close my eyes, no matter how tired I am, my brain goes into overdrive.

I’ve finally told all my colleagues and the board so I can write about it now: I’m leaving SU in March. I’ve decided it’s time to try and pursue these crazy creative things that I keep squeezing in to my life. And, in my usual fashion, I can’t just concentrate on one thing. So here are some things I’m going to be doing to earn a crust in as convoluted a way as I could possibly imagine:

  • freelance graphic designing/photography/writing – I did this once before, when I was going through Bible college, so I know it’s doable. Last time I did it, I didn’t make a huge effort to find clients and somehow managed to have just enough work, so I hope this time with a bit of effort I should be able to pay the bills. I haven’t had a chance to build my website yet, but it’s got a placeholder – www.rebeccajee.com. If you know anyone who needs some creative work done from mid-March, point them in my direction!
  • my bagsTalulaMei has been a bit quiet lately. I ran out of momentum after the last market and Christmas, but I’m starting to get the energy back to sew. People seem to love my bags, which is exciting! I had a bunch of people over recently and about five different people had bags I had made; it’s always nice seeing them out in the wild, being used. But there’s only so many friends and family who want them, and I need to cast my net further afield. I’m doing a month-long Etsy workshop at the moment to work on getting my Etsy store bright and sparkling, and hopefully that will translate into more interest and sales.
  • massage – come May, if everything goes well and I pass my course, I’ll be able to open my massage practice. It’s going to be called the Secret Garden, and I’ll run it out of my studio. I’m hoping it will be a calm, relaxing place for women to come to, where they can take an hour out of their busy lives to just rest and relax and practice some self-care (by letting me look after them!). We found this sign at a garden centre the other day and mum said, “oh you have to get it”. I just need to make the ‘secret’ bit and stick it on…2015-02-03 19.58.06-1
  • The Journal Project – this is a new one, and one of the things that’s keeping me awake at night thinking about layouts and designs and paper. I have recently gone back to paper diaries after being all digital for years. But I wanted something a bit different that I haven’t been able to find. So now I am developing a journal for 2016 that’s more than just a spot to put your appointments and to do lists. I want it to be an all-of-life thing, somewhere you can note down what you’re grateful for each day, where you can doodle and dream, where you can take stock of the month just gone (in a fun way) and look to the month ahead. Then at the end of the year you’ll have a bit of a time capsule of your thoughts, moods, and dreams as well as the day to day stuff you did. I want it to be a lovely object as well. I’m thinking that I will probably crowdfund it, ie, take pre-orders to fund the printing. But that’s a ways off…I need to design it first! Needless to say, you’ll hear more about it here as time goes on…

So yep. There are lots of things. But I’ve come to understand that about myself, that I don’t fit in to the 9-5 box at all, and I need a lot of variety to stay interested and happy. I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to work that out!

If you’re the praying type, please pray for me as I embark on this next phase of life. I’m doing it in a kind of strange way; I have no financial backing or safety net. I just feel it’s the right time to do this, and feel a certain peace and positivity about it. I’m trusting that God will provide, as he always has done! (and I’m going to have a meeting with my accountant on Saturday to start off on the right foot)