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So yeah it’s been a while. I am sitting at a hairdresser’s, getting my hair cut and coloured for the first time in aaaages. Partly because I finally have some money coming in after a couple of extremely lean months, and partly because I have a job interview next week and just felt like I needed to brush off some of the cobwebs and make myself presentable. Actually the most pressing concern is what am I going to wear? After a couple of years of not needing to look especially ‘professional’ at work, I am trying not to overthink it. But I know if I feel frumpy I will be distracted about it during the interview, hence the haircut. Also it’s nice to do nice things for yourself every now and again.

It does feel a little like admitting defeat, looking for a full time job. Then I shake myself and go “what?! Defeat, to have run your own business and paid all your bills for the past couple of years?” Not defeat at all. But it can be hard. Tiring. Stressful, to always be thinking about money. And a bit lonely too. I love being a freelancer, but I think I can only do it for pockets of time. Last time I did it for a couple of years and then went and got a job. And this is the same. It would be nice to have regular income and a group of colleagues to interact with and learn from. Anyway, we’ll see how it goes.

What else has been happening? Hm…Symphonic band started up again for the year, and it’s been wonderful seeing how my practising through January and February has made a difference, both to my confidence generally but also to my sight reading and tone. Still got a long way to go before I sound how I think I *ought* to sound, but I’m thoroughly enjoying playing. My hundred days of practice has stalled in the low 30s…if I had actually practised every day since I started I’d almost be 3/4 of the way there, but I guess hitting 100 isn’t the actual goal. Because I’m not going to stop practising once I do hit 100!

I got a little attachment called a thumbport, which just clips on to the body of the flute and helps with hand position. A lot of beginner players use aids like this, but I’ve seen lots of more advanced players on YouTube and instagram using all sorts of things to help. And as Amber from Body Positive Yoga said when talking about using props in yoga (well something like this anyway) it’s not cheating to use props, it’s acknowledging that not everyone is made the same, so some of us need to use things to alter the length our arms or legs (or fingers in the case) so that we can get into the right poses (or hand positions). Anyway, the thumbport has helped a lot. I already feel a lot less tension in my right hand and my fingers are able to move a lot faster because I’m not holding the flute in a death claw grip or whatever I was doing before.

Oh my hair’s done. Time for burgers. Man it is good when I have money in the bank (briefly) after only having about $10 for three weeks cos all the bills needed paying at the same time. You can do more fun things. Yes. A salary would be a nice thing. Please pray!