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Today was a bit of a weepy day. In some ways that’s a bit funny because the session was on business and nuts and bolts type stuff, so you wouldn’t think it was particularly emotional. But everything is cumulative and when were thinking about the question ‘what is the problem I want to solve in the world?’, it got a bit overwhelming. Still, there was a lot of good stuff in there.

Side bit of joy – in the course of conversation, I discovered that Defah, who has been like the retreat mum, is the daughter of the man who made our wonderful handcrafted dining room table! I love these little connections thahave been coming up all week. It’s like those little nudges that make you feel “yes I’m definitely meant to be here”.

On that point, it is amazing that so many of us in the group actually felt like it was a fluke that we got chosen, or that they must have only let us in because someone else pulled out. So many of us didn’t believe we were worthy to be here. There were a lot of tears around that point! But the team has reassured us again and again that they spent a lot of time reading our applications and putting together what they hoped would be a really cohesive group. We all know that us being here means that many others couldn’t be here. So it really is a privilege.

In the afternoon we did some weaving with Pip. She is the most encouraging teacher ever, not just because she’s enthusiastic about what she’s teaching, but that she’s so delighted by people giving things a go. I will miss our crafternoons! I’m determined to hold more of my own when I get home. 

After our afternoon bubble (sharing session) we had the honour of some local dancers coming to perform traditional Balinese dances for us. Normally they have adult dancers come, but unexpectedly the dancers performing for us were about nine years old. Some were a bit uncomfortable about it but the girls were lovely, danced so beautifully, and were so pleased to do it (and we were assured by the staff that it was legit). 

Every move of the dances has a special meaning. I would have loved to have known more about the significance, though I suspect as an outsider to the culture it would take a bit of study to understand. 

We’d been asked to write on cards something we could offer to support others or something we could teach or give (a bit like the giving tree at the BHB unconference) and I hadn’t been able to think of anything. But then J came up to me and said, “have you put your card up? I’ve got an idea for you. You can write me a melody.” Great idea even though I’d never thought I could write anyone a melody before she asked me. I also put that I could give a massage to anyone in Sydney and could also teach an Egyptian bellydance shimmy for those times when you have to shake it off. 

Then E asked me whether i’d consider doing some illustrations for a health talk she gives to teenagers. It’s funny how you think you have nothing to offer but when you hear what people need you go “oh yeah i can do that!”

Here’s today’s drawnaling: