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I’m heading into the city for an informal interview for some casual work. I wish I could be excited about it. But it’s only a treading water step so it feels like nothing, even though it’s important I earn money and it would be doing good work.

All morning I’ve just felt anxious and useless, though I know I’m not. I read my Bible. I got some things done for this weekend’s MasterCarols at church. I spoke to my Tupperware area manager. I did my washing.

But it feels like I’m just asleep. I wish I could wake up.