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I’m in a bit of a bitsy place at the moment. Fragmented thoughts.

  • I’m currently listening to a mixtape and I have no idea what’s on it, so that doesn’t really help with the disorientation! It’s good, kinda fun to listen to the music semi-objectively.
  • I have a brand-spanking-new iMac at work. It is shiny, glossy and huge. I keep having slight headspins because I’m not used to the bright shininess of it all. It has further entrenched my gadgetheadry. I’m a lost cause.
  • I’m having my staff review today. In half an hour, to be precise. Please pray for me if you read this in time. I don’t know what the upshot of it will be.
  • Almost finished the design for the writing resource site that Guan, Karen and I are involved in building. Soon we’ll actually be able to post stuff!
  • George has organised a bunch of people from Wild St Church to volunteer to teach swimming to a group of disabled people. Well it’s not really teaching swimming, it’s just being there to help them as they swim up and down the pool with varying degrees of ability. I did my first night last night. They seem like a lovely bunch, and I even got the kid who was determined to ‘shoot’ me in the foot with his imaginary gun to do a few laps. It felt like an achievement. Chatted briefly to one of the other (non-church) volunteers and she said how impressed she was that our church group was helping and that we were even organised to the point of rostering people on (yay George!). I hope we can be a really positive Christian witness to people like her, and the carers, and the swimmers themselves.
  • End of an era – after around three years, our ‘temporary’ flatmate Dave has found a place of his own, in Dulwich Hill. I think he’s moving out this weekend. We’ll miss him (but we’ll have a spare room back in case anyone drops by to visit!)
  • I got a weird text message from my brother’s girlfriend Linda the other day, passing on Happy Chinese New Year wishes from my dad’s 32-year-old fiancee (hereafter referred to as ‘DF’), who for some reason has struck up some sort of text messaging friendship with Linda. First, DF referred to me as ‘Becca’, which as far as I’m concerned is not her right to do (you have to earn dodgy nickname rights, yeah? I’ve only met her once or twice and don’t think that entitles her to call me a nickname I hate). Then she finished with: “This time next year, we’ll b celebrating as a family!” It made me feel slightly queasy. I realise I haven’t actually processed what I think about this whole situation, I keep putting it in a box to think about later. I wonder when that ‘later’ will be. I guess the only thing is I’m glad she’s not texting me directly.
  • Think I might have to start seeing a counsellor again.

Mood-wise, I’m still very tired and very sad. Keep trying to pray through it, trying to find some balance, trying to throw all my cares on God. Some of them seem to be tangled around my legs and keep tripping me up…

I need a holiday from my life.