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Well the week’s underway. The weather is grey and so am I.

But I’m sitting here eating black sesame cake from the Chinese supermarket, so that’s good. And I haven’t had coffee yet this morning, so that will probably help when I eventually get some.

So much of my life revolves around food and drink.

Everyone in the office has kind of conked out. Sick or away or just tired. I know there’s lots of work to continue to do, but there is something to be said for having downtime factored in, especially after such a big conference. It’s just too hard to jump straight back into it and to expect everyone to be firing on all cylinders. I don’t even know if I’m firing on one cylinder.

Doesn’t help that my sleep patterns are still all crazy, and that I’ve been feeling this terrible sadness. Mum’s sending me off to get my haircut this afternoon because she said “You’re starting to look like you did when you got severely depressed last time, like you just don’t care anymore”. I think she’s probably right. It starts this way, feeling like it’s all just too hard to even brush your hair properly in the morning, and before long you just think ‘oh what’s the point of dressing nicely, I’ll just wear super baggy t shirts then I won’t have to worry’, you start eating badly because you can’t be bothered to eat well and besides, comfort food is comfort food for a reason, right?, and then you look in the mirror one day and think ‘boy I look like crap. I feel like crap. I must be crap.’

It doesn’t make sense, I know, but therein lies the viciousness of depression.

So I’m getting a haircut in the hopes of stymieing this stupid cycle. Being Kind To Myself, I think it’s called. 🙂