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Clothes shopping. Clothes shopping at the moment is up there with rental house-hunting. And please note, this is not fancy schmancy clothes shopping, or unnecessary retail therapy clothes shopping. This is shopping because all my tops have shrunk in the wash/are about four years old, faded and shrunk in the wash/are gym t-shirts. As the weather is starting to get a little warmer, I need something to wear. Something basic. That preferably doesn’t cost a fortune, but isn’t going to fall apart after a couple of washes.

Have you SEEN the current fashions?

The above are some pretty bad examples but they were by no means the worst of what was on offer and for some reason I can’t find any photos of the particularly bad ones online (and I must say none of the models look especially thrilled to be wearing the clothes, so if that’s the best they can do to make them look appealing…you know you’ve got some problems). From a certain angle and with the best lighting…passable. Maybe. In real life, on real people? Uniformly hideous. Shapes and cuts that make skinny girls look fat and make fat girls look fatter. The ‘in’ colour seems to be a particularly vicious bright yellow that I don’t think suits many people, or a selection of colours from the drab palette. Not only that, but they want you to pay a lot of money for the privilege of looking like a total skank.

I tried to be open-minded and thought that perhaps the ‘new’ shapes might not be too bad once I put them on. I have not looked so unattractive for a very long time. The only thing that looked any good was a black v-neck t shirt – it fit, it was flattering, it had interesting collar details…it cost $90. I don’t care how nice it makes me look – I AM NOT PAYING NINETY DOLLARS FOR A T SHIRT.

I did, however, buy a pair of pyjamas. Although this doesn’t help me with clothing I can actually leave the house in, at least I’ll be comfy in bed.

Mum’s knee worsened after all the walking around, but we had to do grocery shopping, so we pressed onwards to Coles. Now, as you can tell, I am now in a foul mood but too tired to do anything about it. Maybe I should just put my new jammies on and go to sleep. Failing that, I’ll just eat biscuits and watch Mr and Mrs Smith on DVD.