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i have weird dreams. dave has dreams that are almost prophetic, i have dreams that are…well, look i just have to describe the one i just had. it will explain everything.

i was watching the trailer for an upcoming film. it was one of those films where the climax involved a huge dance competition, and the trailer showed an extended clip of this dance competition. all the competitors were dancing different styles, and it reached a peak when they started doing a big riverdance routine. but the clincher was, every single one of them was dressed in a paddlepop lion costume.


in the riverdance bit, i could hear the taps and i wondered whether they were wearing special tap shoes under the costume or whether there were taps attached to the pads of the lions’ feet.

then i realised i was running late to meet dave. we were meeting at the star bar, but not the one on george st, the one in haymarket that is a really dodgy pub where i met miranda and rob once. so i pulled myself away from the riverdancing paddlepop lions and went into the pub. i couldn’t see anyone i knew. there was one empty table but there was a very strange looking man sitting just opposite, staring at me. he was quite scruffy, but in a contrived way. he was also wearing dark glasses, so i don’t really know how i know he was staring at me, but anyway. i went to the bar and got a huge frosty mug of beer, and suddenly had a major dizzy spell, so staggered over to the empty table and put the drink down.

“had a few too many, eh?” the man said.

“no, i haven’t drunk anything yet. i just had a dizzy spell,” i replied.

“right. well, you’d better watch it, it’s the season for going blind and deaf, you know.”

then i woke up.

paddlepop lions? seasons for blindness and deafness? riverdance?!! what is going on in my head?!!!