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it’s a great thing to share good news with lots of people, because then you get all sorts of lovely, affirmative emails congratulating you, and people cooking you dinner and buying you flowers and whatnot.

one of the great things about being awarded this fellowship is that it crystallises what i want to do. i was floundering a bit in recent times, not having written seriously for a long time, wondering whether i was just kidding myself about this whole writing thing. my counsellor has been saying “you’re going to be a really successful writer, i can just tell” – but as she’s never read anything i’ve written i have no idea what she bases that on. and i’d just look at her and think ‘well that’s all very nice, but how exactly is that going to happen when i’ve hardly been able to write more than a page for the last several months?’

(actually the conversation went like this:

Counsellor: I think you’re going to be really successful. You know, like that woman…that woman who writes books…

Me: JK Rowling?

Counsellor: no, you know the ones…the books about the boy…

Me: Harry Potter?

Counsellor: yes, that’s the one!

sigh…)

i even thought maybe it was time to reassess whether writing is the thing for me at this point in time. maybe i should go back to working in theatre, i should go to NIDA and study stage management and start off on a whole other career course. last week i went back into my office after lunch, feeling defeated, threw my hands up in the air and said, “Lord, what am i supposed to be doing?!!!”

within an hour, i received the email from varuna.

i think i’ll stick with the writing for the moment…