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so here we are in a new year.

new year’s eve was fun and had a fairly low-key, family-oriented flavour to it. we had a party at mum’s with lots of people, mainly from church, and quite a few kids which was actually kinda nice. at mum’s you get a view over moore park golf course to the city, so you can see all the fireworks in their various synchronised firings around the harbour (above the buildings, though – and that damn horizon building is smack bang in the middle of it, but anyway). the 9.00 ones were great of course, and the toddlers were awake for those – very very cute. we didn’t have a radio, so i put the hallelujah chorus on really loud and as nathaniel stared out at the fireworks he exclaimed, “this the the place where i can hear the choir!” a group of us went into mum’s room and played a bizarre yet completely addictive German card game called ‘bohnanza’ (it involves bean fields and gold pieces…guess you had to be there). the midnight fireworks were beautiful, and i was surprised that although i had plenty of champagne and i managed to get to the new year relatively sober. 🙂

mum and i drove nic up to port macquarie, where he’s going to hang out and work for a couple of months. i was cranky with him and we had a reasonable amount of heated discussion on the way up, but it ended reasonably well that evening with us sitting by the river drinking beer and talking about movies. i love my brother so dearly, yet as mum observed, we both just cut each other to the core at every opportunity. i don’t know why i’m so hard on him, or why he is so hard on me; i guess we each expect a lot of the other and those expectations are in different directions. i think being up in port macquarie will be good for him, to be out of sydney and staying with his best mate chris, someone who cares about him and appreciates him. working in hospitality he every now and again realises how shallow and fickle the relationships with his ‘friends’ are and he craves some reality and genuine love.

we spoiled ourselves – mum got her hair cut and coloured, and i had a lovely massage. we had an unhurried drive back, stopping off to look at things and taking the scenic routes. i’ve spent a lot of time with mum these holidays, even though i see her a lot anyway. it’s been good to hang out at her house, where she looks after me, and it’s quiet and cool and high above the world. 🙂 it’s been hard to shake off the incredible tiredness that is still hanging around me from last year. it’s like my body’s completely forgotten how to relax. i just want to hide out and read or watch TV and when i relate to people it’s like everything’s kind of fuzzy. fuzzy wuzzy. at least the heat has gone and it’s raining now, my favourite weather.

so i had some new year’s resolutions – and i never make them, ever. maybe i won’t call them that, maybe they’ll just be Things I Will Finally Get Around to Doing (TIWFGATD). they are:

  • set up a budget…and stick to it
  • lose some weight
  • write at least one decent short story a month (this is just the initial small goal, which will hopefully kick start me into more indepth writing)
  • work out what i want to achieve in my job so i don’t start off the year feeling discouraged and disillusioned
  • liven up the music ministry at church and think of ways to encourage and motivate the music team
  • have my friends over for dinner more often

it’s kind of like an all-over spring clean (except it’s summer), an attempt to shake off the lethargy which seeemed to dog my heels all last year and make me feel like i was slowly sinking. but my main TIWFGATD is not to feel completely defeated if i don’t achieve those things on the list! (you always need to factor in an ‘out’)

hope your new year was shiny.